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Malavika’s Mumbaistan: And the Award Goes To…

As the year draws to a conclusion, here’s a list of 15 prestigious awards, prizes, trophies, medals, honours and decorations etc, to be handed out to some of the biggest winners and losers of the year

The ‘Imelda Marcos Award for Sartorial Splendour’ to incarcerated diamantaire Nirav Modi for wearing a ₹9-lakh ostrich-skin jacket, while being an economic fugitive in London.

The ‘Mao Tse-tung Great Leap Forward Honour’ to the Indian government for trying to introduce CAA and NRC across the country.

The ‘Donald Trump Medal’ to Anand Mahindra for successfully tweeting at an alarming rate while holding a top job.

The ‘Best Supporting Role Prizes’ jointly to Taimur and Inaaya, for supporting their parents’ careers.

The ‘Blue Grotto Of Capri Decoration’ awarded posthumously to Michael Jackson for the staggering secret tunnels and hideaways in his Neverland mansion.

The ‘Titanic Ship Joint Trophy’ to Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan for choosing to star in Thugs of Hindostan.

The ‘Wacko Jacko Honour’ to Swami Nithyananda for claiming he had the abilities to develop vocal chords for monkeys undertake astral travel and open the third-eye of his followers.

The ‘Mani Shankar Aiyar Foot In The Mouth Prize’ to Farokh Engineer for saying that selectors served Anushka Sharma tea, during a match.

The ‘Hero to Zero In Fastest Time Prize’ to Shah Rukh Khan for not having a single release in 2019.

The ‘Understatement of the year prize’ to Abhishek Bachchan for tweeting, “We are all so, so proud of you”, on the occasion of his father receiving the Dadasaheb Phalke Award.

The ‘Elon Musk Award’ to Devendra Fadnavis for flubbing his big moment in such a public way.

The ‘Bed Head Blondes Have More Fun Prize’ presented jointly to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump, for obvious reasons.

The ‘TN Seshan Bravery Honour’ to Rahul Bajaj for saying there is an atmosphere of fear at a business conclave in the presence of Amit Shah.

The ‘Simone Biles Champion Gymnast Medal’ to Sharad Pawar for his agile twists and timely turns while dealing with the Maharashtra government formation crisis.

And last but not the least:

The ‘Kya Hua Tera Wada?’ award to chief minister Uddhav Thackeray, for holding you-know-who to his promise

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