Why I haven’t let my husband buy me a wedding ring

Because it costs a shit-ton of money.
Full disclosure: I won’t accept a wedding ring that costs Rs 1L or less.
But Rs 1L and more seems like a LOT of money. Enough for me to think about better ways to spend it.
Stocks? Mutual Funds? SIPs? *GASP* NFTs and Crypto?

If 2021 was bad — thanks for nothing, COVID-19 — 2022 has been worse so far. And horror of horrors, the pandemic has NOTHING to do with it.

As geopolitics experts (on Twitter) warned of the third world war in the wake of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, closer home, we’ve been grappling with our own versions of unprecedented hell.

Courts are getting involved in what little girls — who just want to get an education more than anything else, presumably to escape the crushing thumbs of patriarchy — should and should not wear to school/colleges.

‘Keep your religion at home,’ they’re being told. So, no more poojas and rangolis and Navratri color-coordinating of clothes at work anymore, I presume.

In showbiz, a film-maker who fairly recently decided that hate sells more than sex (after making a bunch of ‘erotic thrillers’) has fanned the flames of bigotry with his latest release.

The ‘outrage’ over the persecution of a minority community, as depicted in the film, has assumed such Frankenstein-ian monster proportions, even said community is actively disowning it.

But what do we care? We’ll deal with the fire when it has reached our doorsteps. Which is funny to me, because women are such a big part of this bigotry.

Who do they think their supreme leaders, their Vishwa gurus are coming for after (hypothetically speaking) the religious minorities are driven out?

But let’s really just leave it all to be dealt with when it can’t be put off anymore. For even as we take breaks from our daily lives to froth at the mouth over something or the other, somewhere, women are silently tolerating physical abuse within the closed walls of marriage, being gaslit by their spouses, gradually falling out of favour with their support systems.

There are women out there, hustling, ON TOP OF managing a house, a family, expectations and their own emotions.

There are women trying to be sexy, but just enough so as not to challenge a man’s perception of sex appeal. There are women trying to be the ultimate manic-pixies, a pitch-perfect interpretation of the way Imtiaz Ali and Woody Allen intended them to be.

There are women silently witnessing their agency systematically being stripped off their backs like clothes, after a lifetime of being told that ‘You can do whatever you set your mind to.’

I have been plagued with these thoughts on a personal and a generic level constantly, and to be honest with you lot, writing about it would only push me towards another round of therapy, and I am not really willing to go down that road at the moment.

To put it mildly, my faith in it all is being tested. So, this time, I figured let me trawl theIinternet to see what’s happening in marriages around the world. Here’s a lowdown:

Will Smith has said there was no infidelity in his marriage with Jada Pinkett-Smith…

After Jada spoke about her ‘entanglement’ with a man in the course of her marriage with Smith.

In his statement, Smith kind of circumvents the question entirely, adding that ‘There’s never been infidelity in our marriage. Jada and I talk about everything, and we have never surprised one another with anything ever.’

The subtext, of this text, is that there most definitely was an entanglement involving Jada and another man. But Smith knew about it all along.

Successful people are also the MOST boring people in the world. Unless you’re Shah Rukh Khan.

Marriage loan

First things first. There is a difference between a ‘wedding’ and a ‘marriage’, just as an ‘affair’ and a ‘relationship’ are two different things.

So, the writer in this article I read on a financial publication’s site, I presume, is talking about wedding loans.

As I understand it, there are enough people financing their weddings with loans for this to become a legit SEO-worthy topic. And holy shit.

My education AND my wedding combined cost half of what an average Indian wedding today does.

According to this article, that number is Rs 18L. FFS, two years into the marriage, and I still haven’t let my husband buy me a wedding ring. Because it costs a shit-ton of money.

Full disclosure: I won’t accept a wedding ring that costs Rs 1L or less. But at the same time, Rs 1L and more seems like a LOT of money. Enough for me to think about better ways to spend it. Stocks? Mutual Funds? SIPs? *GASP* NFTs and Crypto?

Daughter not entitled to father’s money for education or marriage if she doesn’t want to maintain ties

A Supreme Court ruling. That’s just P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Create more hurdles for women. Don’t hold the man in this dynamic up to any scrutiny, vis-à-vis why the daughter would be compelled to severe ties.

Bollywood couples who will play their first Holi after marriage

WEDDING* you dimwits. Also, yay.

They will play Holi (Katrina-Vicky, Ankita Lokhande-Vikas Jain, Yami Gautam-Aditya Dhar, Rajkummar Rao-Patralekha et al) but let us live vicariously na, through their experiences.

Because ours don’t feel Instagram-friendly enough. They don’t fit into the feverishly-pedaled moulds of social media.

What did you do for Holi this year? Not much yaar; after five years of marriage, you just stop feeling things for Holi, or for Diwali or for each other.

After five years of marriage, you stop feeling. Period.

Feature Presentation: Ashish Narsale/Rediff.com

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